You’ve probably heard it before – “My spouse and I are having serious problems, but it’s better to stay together for the kids.” But, is it? Is it truly better to stay unhappily married for your entire life?
It’s time to break the stigma of “staying together for the kids” and normalize growth and change.
Breaking the Cycle of Generational Trauma
While generational trauma (what happened in the generations before us) can be at the root of a lot of suffering in families – there’s also a lot of childhood trauma that’s created by people staying in relationships that are no longer fulfilling to them. Seeing parents unhappy, angry, frustrated, and stuck, affects a child’s their emotional development.
It’s vital to do what we can to break the cycle. How do we heal from the wounds and hurt feelings of someone telling us that they don’t want to be with us anymore? Or that we don’t want to be with our partners anymore? We heal with love.
Love for others, but also love for ourselves.
Being in an unhealthy relationship isn’t good for you, so why would it be good for your children? Would you want your child to stay in an unhappy or unhealthy relationship?
It’s been proven that love can actually shape your DNA. It can change your DNA. By accepting love and showing unconditional love to everyone, especially while navigating divorce, we can undo a little bit of the trauma that we all have. Chip away at that generational trauma a little bit at a time.
Addressing Your Fears of Divorce
If you are concerned that your marriage or partnership may end in divorce, there are a few proactive things you can do to strengthen your relationship. You can wait longer to get married – wait until you’re older and really know yourself, your interests and what makes you tick. You can also reinforce your relationship while it’s already in a good place. Consider seeing a couple’s therapist. Talk to an expert and build your personal skillset; discuss your thoughts and feelings before something in your relationship is broken.
If you are in an unhappy marriage, you may be afraid to do something about it. That’s okay. We all deal with fears. Often, it’s fear that stops us from reaching our full goals and potential. But it’s important to remember, if you’re afraid of changing your family structure, all you need to do is come up with a plan. Develop a plan and take that first step. It’s probably not the steps that are scaring you, it’s the big picture. And this is where we can help.
How Pepitone Family Law Can Help
When we first meet with a client, we tell them to imagine putting everything they’re worried about in a box and handing it over. Put your anxiety about finances, dealing with your partner, dividing your home, the effect on the kids – put all of that in a box and lock it up. And then give it to us to deal with. After all, that’s our job to handle those stresses for you.
Instead of wasting your energy and emotions on the legal system, focus on taking care of yourself and your loved ones. You can’t help your family out of a burning building if you’re also on fire. So, while we take care of that “box of anxiety” and handle the legal processes, you need to take care of your body, mind, and spirit. Don’t let fear of “staying together for the kids,” keep you from your personal growth and modeling happiness and love for your family. Let us help you develop a plan and take action.
Contact Pepitone Family Law
At Pepitone Family Law, we aim to create a space in which all families feel comfortable and able to settle their differences and divorce in a low-conflict atmosphere. We’re committed to understanding the circumstances of your situation by listening to your needs and developing an individualized plan of action that aligns with your vision of the future. We were founded on the belief that honest transparency will lead to informed and empowered decision-making for our clients which is why we adopted a flat fee service philosophy.
To schedule a consultation, call (770) 800-2681 or use our online contact form.